sleepless nights.

Cant sleep and tonight I feel like writing. Not sure about what but im sure it will come to me. I'm at a point in my life where i know that I need God to get me through. I've always known and believed in God but honestly have never had a relationship like this. He is awesome. The most amazing part of that is that my soul mate is right there with me. At dinner he ask to say the blessing, at night he ask to say OUR prayers. (thanks God) At such a hard time in my life and Erics it has been so moving to talk to each other about what we have gone through emotionally and who we have both leaned on. (God) In a special way it makes us feel so much closer. (didnt know that was possible) Our 10 days together were the best 10 days we have ever spent together. I know now that every day we have together we will cherish every minute together. It has been so extremely hard being away from each other. When i think about the sacrifices he makes, ill do what i do...whatever it takes. Eric is honestly such an amazing person. I thank God for putting us together. I have days (often) where i just want to sleep all day and any little thing can make me cry. For example i was so pumped up and excited about my training appointment on Saturday morning, I got there jumping around and laughing with my trainer. Started doing an exercise and he said "so your husband is gone again right, when will he be back?" I looked away for a split second and just lost it. i cried so hard right in front of my big HUGE manly trainer..cried like a baby. Its so crazy how my emotions are right now. I dont understand them until I start explaining my feelings to Savannah or Momma and they remind me that i am human and i do not and can not be strong 24/7. I am a wife whose husband isnt with me right now, i have the right to cry. When i sit here and think about it and type it out it makes perfect sense. but when i am in one of my "fits" it doesnt matter...i dont like crying about this ALL THE TIME i just want to miss him but be okay. so far no good. This leave seems a lot harder then the first leave. Driving away was one of the hardest things ive done in a really long time. along with coming home alone, going to bed alone and waking up alone. I am learning to be a patient person. but this sucks. i cant wait for 29 palms (where eric goes next) because he will be able to have his phone with him and WE CAN TALK WHENEVER WE WANT!! that will be the best change in a long time. For those of you who dont know Eric got to call me on Sunday night. We talked for 20 mins. It was a good conversation. He seems to be doing good, other than being homesick. He told me that he was in class the other day and it was a good class, everyone was goofing off and having a good time. He said the instructor was really hyper so it was a laid back class. He said he was laughing at things and joking around with people then look down at his desk and saw the picture of his sister and i and almost lost it (i guess he is on the same emotional roller coaster i am) He said that MCT isnt as highstrung as boot camp so in that sense it is better but that it still sucks. He is now having to do all the PT (physical training) in his cammies and boots. He hasnt got to shoot anything yet, which is what he is really looking forward to. His sister and brother in law are expecting our first nephew any day now, Eric asked on the phone how they are and said "i still cant believe im going to be an uncle" we are both so excited. Her due date is the 23rd, my guess is the 20th and erics is the 28th...i REALLY hope he is wrong. He hopes to be able to call next sunday so hopefully i will have another update then. i hope everyone is doing good. YAY FOR FALL!!!

Surviving the wait.

love always.